Today: A full blown four alarm holiday emergency.

[tweetmeme source=”elizabethev” only_single=false] It’s Sunday, December 12th.  We have but a mere thirteen days until Christmas.  I’ve barely started decking the halls.  Heck, we don’t even have a tree up yet.  In the words of Clark W. Griswold, Jr.,

This is a full blown four alarm holiday emergency here.

I’d go on, but the next line or two includes an swear word.  You can watch for yourself here.  My favorite part is when Clark re-bolts the door.  Anyway, with all the construction happening in our condo, we’re a little delayed in getting ready for Christmas.  Being the semi-elf that I am (I’m only 5’4″ after all… on a good day… like when I am wearing platform shoes and platform socks), I am feeling a bit out of sorts.  Where are the stockings?  The candy canes?  The tree skirt that Clark peed on twice last year?

Last week, as our contractor packed up his various power tools and boxes, I began unpacking my various Christmas tools and boxes.  I couldn’t help myself.  I wrapped presents with reckless abandon (to the point that I ran out of regular tape and resorted to brown packing tape… it’s very rustic meets utilitarian), while blasting James Taylor Christmas songs.  It was awesome.

Tomorrow or the day after, we’ll finally pick up a little tree to fit our newly renovated condo.  We’ll dress it up with our favorite ornaments while a fire glows in newly installed fireplace.  If I knew what hot toddy was, I am sure we’d sip that, too.  In the meantime, we’re making do with this little beauty, which I picked up after enjoying a great blogging event at the Whole Foods on River Street in Cambridge on Wednesday night.  I’d spotted these little rosemary “trees” earlier this year and have been thinking about them ever since.  Not only do they look like Clark-sized Christmas trees, but they also smell incredible and are rather useful.  Rosemary is, after all, one of my most favorite herbs.  Pedestrian though it may be, basil will always be my number one.

Alongside lovely people like Bridget and Emily, I learned about Whole Foods’ holiday offerings and picked up a few sneaky and fun entertaining tips.  Don’t tell anyone, but I plan to purchase a Baker’s Dozen platter from the bakery at Whole Foods, and pass these babies off as home-baked.   Home-baked in really, really small batches.  Besides serious guilt, this lie will only cost me $15 for 13 pieces of cannoli, petite pastries, assorted bars and brownies.  That’s practically stealing.  Which is worse than lying, right?

We also got some tips for fancying up goat cheese.  I would elaborate, but I was too busy drooling to pay close attention or take photos.  If I had to guess, though, I am pretty sure that you can roll goat cheese logs in caramelized walnuts, dried candied ginger, or really, anything tasty, and serve with pita chips or a sliced baguette for a delightful appetizer.

Whole Foods also offers cheese platters (with quite a varied selection) that serve 8-10 people (or, with my marathon appetite, 1-2 people) for under $20.  Add a bottle of their soon-to-be-in-stores Three Wishes Wine for $2.99 a bottle and you’ve got yourself one merry night in… and perhaps enough reason to stop calling it whole paycheck, disgruntled hipsters?  Just kidding.  I love you, disgruntled hipsters.

Armed with some holiday entertaining ideas, an excess of rosemary, and a BC Grandpa mug full of holiday cheer, I am off to do a bit more decorating and a lot more Sparky Griswold impersonating.

Also On Tap for Today:

• Watching The Spirit of the Marathon with our Team in Training teammates
• Check out this moving and inspiring story from today’s Boston Globe Magazine
• Gettin’ busy in the kitchen: triple fudge brownies, rosemary and bleu cheese mashed potatoes, vegetarian chili and baby Greek salads
• Harry Potter movie night 🙂

What your favorite entertaining tip or trick?  Does it involve blatant lying?  I sort of hope so…