Why do socks tend to lose their other halves faster than Paris Hilton? They go into the laundry hamper together, but rarely do they make it through the spin cycle.
Personally, I’m not crazy about wearing socks. Even in the winter, I’d prefer to go sockless in my ballet flats and heels. My sock wearing is limited almost exclusively to working out, or keeping warm in the condo (in which case, I’m most likely wearing Christmas socks, or pink Life is Good socks, covered in peace signs). Usually, it’s very obvious which socks belong to one another. Pom poms and “right” and “left” markers are useful for this purpose.
Or sometimes, my socks are permanently attached. You might call these pantyhose. Pantyhose or nylons are the unitards of the sock world: Impossible to take apart and equally awful. Tights are only half as bad. But still.
Fun fact: Spell check just tried to turn unitards into Unitarians. Lovely people, but not quite what I was going for.
On the other hand foot, men’s socks are nearly impossible to match and seem to separate at a far faster rate than mine. They all look alike, until you get really, really close. Oh, those are Swiss dots. How nice. When putting away the laundry last night, I found myself asking such questions as:
- Why is this black sock slightly longer than this other one of the same texture and color?
- What does that gold line on the toe mean?
- Is this light black or really, really dark brown?
- Is there even such a color as light black? If so, is it called gray?
- You have a purple argyle sock?
- Any chance you have a second one?
The world of men’s socks, I’m finding, is subtle and nuanced. And annoying. So annoying that I spend a good part (or 5 minutes) of the evening reading this wikiHow article entitled How to Avoid Losing Socks in the Washing Machine. Good Heavens! Centrifugal force has been stealing Nick’s socks! Here are a few tips from the article:
- Keep ’em together. Before putting socks in the washing machine, attach pairs together. You can use a lingerie bag, safety pins or even office clamps, you can simply fold the tops together, or the best solution is to use the sock clip.
- Know where to look. Many socks that go missing are stuck to the inside of the washer. The moisture and centrifugal force holds them there for several minutes. Be sure to check all around the inside of the drum. Other socks will get stuck to sheets and towels in the dryer. So when you fold these items for storage, shake them out and check for any socks which may be clinging.
- Keep orphaned socks in one place. When you fold laundry, insert any unmatchable socks into one particular drawer in your dresser, or a box on your closet shelf. Once a month, you may have quite a collection. Dump them out and make all the matches. Use socks with no partner for other purposes.
Also On Tap for Today:
- Stop reading and writing about socks
- Celebrate animals, celebrating the holidays
- Consider becoming a celebrity hunter, like this guy
How do you keep your socks from breaking up? And have you ever had your photo taken with a celebrity (I want proof)?
Comments (12)
Robin
December 22, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Before I comment on the whole sock debacle, I have to say I love your blog! You’re funny. I like that.
Now …
I keep my socks from breaking up by giving them weekly counseling sessions.
And wait a minute, how did you get hold of my husband’s purple argyle sock?! Give it back. On second thought, I’ll send you this one. I hate those socks.
Elizabeth
December 24, 2009 at 9:15 am
Thank you, Robin! Yes, please do send that purple argyle our way! 🙂
pandabox33
December 23, 2009 at 4:12 am
Reading about socks is a wonderful and enjoyable way to pass the time at 3 o’clock in the morning. Hehe. I’m sorry for all those separations. It must be difficult. Toutes mes sympathies…
In this household we are both doing laundry. My boyfriend is suspected of not checking the towels and bed linen for lost socks. And I suspect we both put everything white or colored or black in the washer without checking for smaller items at the bottom of the hamper.
Mainly, I think they’re trying to run away because I put the right sock on before the left one. I’m still looking for my dark grey striped lighter grey sock. And my white and black sock is twinless. Its other half got so distraught that it tore a hole and died on me. It was the left one, it felt I didn’t wear it enough (I matched the socks with black ones, oh the questions at work…people marveled).
Half of a Duo, Raising a Duo
December 23, 2009 at 11:23 am
I thought this is hysterical since my socks and that of my twin sons disappear all the time.
I figured it out.
First, we have a front loader. The socks get stuck in the front plastic part.
Second, my feet aren’t much bigger than my 21 mo old sons. So my DH, who sometimes sorts the socks, puts mine w/theirs. It is funny!
Hugs to you and blessings for the new year, ICLW style.
Lisa
December 23, 2009 at 5:06 pm
It is all the rage among 10 year-old girls to wear mismatched socks on purpose, with no regard for colours or patterns clashing. When we do the laundry, there is never a matching one to any of them. My husband, who does most of the folding, goes bananas over it.
I like your blog. You made me laugh a few times. Thanks.
Lisa (Your Great Life – ICLW #51)
lily ashley
December 23, 2009 at 11:01 pm
thank you so much for your well wishes, and ifever itry the diuretic ingridient i’ll be sure to share the recipe lol
(evil gnome giggles)
shannon
December 23, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Very funny posting! I often wonder how my socks get lost…why can’t they just hold heels and stay together through the wash, spin and drying cycles? I might have to look for a sock clip!
Elizabeth
December 24, 2009 at 9:18 am
Shannon, f you do give these sock clips a try, let me know. 🙂 In the meantime, I will be taking “Half of a Duo”‘s advice and peeking in the plastic/rubber part of our front loader. Who knows what might be in there….
Daria
December 29, 2009 at 4:17 pm
I like the idea of using the clips.. My husband loves to ball the socks up together before he tosses them into the hamper. Some of these little guys I will catch, but those that go through are quite irritating, as they go through the dryer as a ball. They never dry, and I’m never quite sure that the sock on the inside got fair treatment. However, there is no way I’m going to put it anywhere near my nose… just in case…
The good thing is that he too, also enjoys being sockless when he can. He and his flippies go everywhere!
linda fritzley
July 20, 2010 at 2:54 pm
i have diabetes and socks have become important i have 2 pairs of socks with a gold line at the toe and i like them but i dont remember the brand or were i bought them can you help
linda fritzley
July 20, 2010 at 2:56 pm
gold line socks are what brand
Darrel
August 25, 2012 at 6:06 pm
I am looking for those exact same socks! Cushiony toe and heel, just over the ankle, nice top stay up, durable… PLEASE, if you find them, please repost!!!