Today: I hate fall. But I like autumn.
[tweetmeme source=”elizabethev” only_single=false]I was in a hideous mood earlier this week (I’d blame lack of sleep over the weekend, but after dressing up like a flying squirrel on Saturday night, I slept until 10 the next morning.). Clark was feeling salty too, mostly because he hates the rain. And because I imagine his moods for him. I figured I’d wallow in my grouchiness, and then get over it. Wallowing, for me, always involves list making.
This is what I came up with.
11 Reasons Why I Hate Fall:
- Fall colors are ugly. Brown? Orange? That’s like a rotting pumpkin. Which brings me to…
- I don’t like the taste of pumpkin.
- Why are people freaking out about pumpkin flavored coffee? And pumpkin beer? And pumpkins?
- I am allergic to wool.
- Boston is full of college students. I feel old. And nostalgic. And old.
- All those leaves on the ground? They’re slippery. I will probably fall.
- I am allergic to something in addition to the aforementioned wool. I don’t know what it is, but it just sprouted or hatched or grew or whatever. I am itchy.
- I dislike squash. And zucchini. I wish berries and tomatoes were perpetually in season.
- I’d rather wear skirts than pants.
- Things always expire in the fall. My parking pass expired on August 31st and my new one was denied because the person at the parking desk thought I was a student pretending to be a grown-up. Then it was approved. Seven days later. I was annoyed. Also, I accidentally ate expired Greek yogurt on Tuesday. Use your imagination. It wasn’t good.
- It’s sort of cold, but sort of hot, and sort of dry, but also humid. My body (specifically, my hair) is confused.
I could have probably continued on to number 12, or number 40, but this whole exercise was not especially helpful. In fact, I felt even more hideous than when I started. I decided to make a second list, wherein I would call fall autumn, because it sounds more lovely. And not unlike a middle school classmate from the late eighties or early nineties.
9 Reasons to Not Hate Autumn
- I am getting married in November (that’s a big one, obviously). When we booked our date, people were like, Ooooh, fall colors! Beautiful! I got a lot of practice burning these same people with my eyes of death. (See number 1 above.) In all seriousness, though, I just cannot wait.
- After the wedding, we get to go on our honeymoon, which is a great way to bring
sexysummer back. Yeah. - Soccer starts after a two week hiatus (um… our team didn’t make the playoffs last season…).
- Glutino makes a gluten free stuffing. Which means I can freely overeat on Thanksgiving.
- Fall races are less sweaty than summer races.
- Apple picking (not a sentence, but I am going to punctuate it regardless).
- Nick turns 30 this fall, which makes us the same age again, meaning I don’t have to feel creepy for a whole five months. My mother and sister also have fall birthdays. They’re so cute.
- I have jury duty (and inevitably, I will be impaneled, knowing both my luck and inability to make up believable lies)… that’s always interesting. I was on a jury for a medical malpractice case a few years ago and almost fainted.
- Leggings are socially acceptable in certain situations again.
I’m still recovering from the yogurt thing, but my mood has improved. Daydreaming about a honeymoon (and jury duty?) will do that. As for Clark? He still hung up on his singular reason for hating fall: this jacket.
Please don’t call Sarah McLachlan on me.
Also On Tap for Today:
- Voting in the MA state primary
- Coveting these fruit and vegetable drawers
- I’m giving away 2 half marathon entries for 9/16
What do you love most about fall autumn?
Comments (15)
beautystillremains
September 6, 2012 at 1:19 pm
Football season has started!
thedancingrunner
September 6, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Hilarious. Fall and autumn to me are just like potato and po-tah-to. One word is just fancier! 🙂
November wedding sounds beautiful!
Kelly Nigl (@kellynigl)
September 6, 2012 at 2:40 pm
I don’t like pumpkin flavored things either!!
Also: The college kids are back in Madison too. It makes me feel old, and makes getting anywhere much more traffic filled because school is back in session. BOO!
I like Clark’s jacket. He does not seem so amused by it though. 🙂
Molly Galler
September 6, 2012 at 5:34 pm
I’m definitely not ready to say goodbye to summer and I am even less ready to embrace cold, jackets, pumpkin and all your other gripes. Perhaps the pretty foliage will turn that frown upside down?
Michelle
September 6, 2012 at 8:37 pm
Naturally, I also make lists when I’m wallowing. Surprisingly, I do not share your feelings about fall… I LOVE it. I could probably have done this same exercise at the beginning of summer. Except both lists would have been about summer, because it only has one name.
Elizabeth
September 13, 2012 at 8:41 pm
If you call me Summer, I will call you Autumn.
June
September 6, 2012 at 9:23 pm
I must bake you a zucchini bread … Fresh from the garden zucchini! I feel confident I can change your opinion on this lovely squash! I like Fall (but love summer) because I run faster in the crisp air, don’t have to spend 15 minutes before work watering my flowers, and ummm … Ok I’m reaching … I like turning on the fireplace!!? I miss summer’s early morning light already…
Elizabeth
September 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Oooh, the fire place! Now that’s something to look forward to. 🙂
CT Cupcake
September 10, 2012 at 9:58 am
I don’t understand why people freak out about pumpkin beer either! Of course I hate beer after at less than stellar showing at a frat party more years ago than I’d care to admit. Oh god, the expired yogurt incident, yep,had that happen about a month ago. It was ugly.
Anne P
September 10, 2012 at 12:01 pm
You don’t like the taste of pumpkin?!? I’m not sure we can be friends anymore.
🙂
Elizabeth
September 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Fine, fine. I’ll eat a pumpkin.
Enid Reggie
September 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm
You forgot the best part about fall–much better hair days (unless your hair dresser goes missing).
Elizabeth
September 13, 2012 at 8:40 pm
Good call. I am getting a buzz cut after the wedding, though… so really NBD.
valerie
September 13, 2012 at 4:29 pm
I just started following you after following a link from Carrots n Cake. We have a Frenchie who looks eerily like Clark. They’re the cutest dogs ever!!!
Elizabeth
September 13, 2012 at 8:39 pm
Aww! I tend to agree. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!