Today: Late to my own funeral.

[tweetmeme source=”elizabethev” only_single=false]You know the expression late to your own funeral?  It was invented for people like me, having weeks like this.

The expression driving at your own funeral  (if that were an actual expression, please play along) seems to have been invented for my grandfather.  Though he died a few days before my sophomore year at BC started, he feels very alive to me this time of year.  He was sort of the embodiment of the Christmas spirit, and all things good and kind.  He had a great laugh.  And very smiley eyes.  Anyway, back to his funeral.  When it was time for our family to make our way from the funeral parlor to the church, the funeral director called out the order of cars, one by one.

At some point, he started calling out my grandfather’s name, indicating it was his turn to pull his car around.  His voice grew louder and more annoyed, as (quite naturally) my grandfather didn’t respond.  Finally, someone sort of side-whispered to him that my grandfather wouldn’t be driving today.  It was brilliant.  Oh, and this!  The day before, at my grandfather’s wake, a man was cooking in the nude, windows wide open, in the building adjacent to the funeral home.  I know dying isn’t funny, but man.  Those little moments really helped.  Side note: if you haven’t seen “Death at a Funeral” (the British version, not the Chris Rock monstrosity), you should.

[Photo source]

Anyway, back to being perpetually late.  I had a teacher in high school who would say, “Early is on time.  On time is late.  And late is unacceptable.”  I find myself repeating these words rather often, as I rush to a meeting.  Or as I flip off a pedestrian idling in the crosswalk.  Just kidding.  Or am I?  I pride myself on being punctual, but for some reason lately… it just isn’t happening.

On Monday, my alarm (set to silent, highly ineffective) noiselessly “rang” for over an hour.  I woke up at 6:45 feeling especially rested.  Mostly because I had overslept.  This morning, despite having a soccer game that went past 11 last night, I woke before my alarm.  And then I wasted 40 minutes allowing my dog to smell every single leaf in South Boston.  Tack on an additional 20 minutes of hair straightening and 30 minutes trying on 42 outfits and you’ve got a whopping 92 minutes down the drain.  Needless to say, I was tardy for the party normal life this morning.

[Image source]

Late may be unacceptable, but this week, “I’ll be there eventually” is probably more appropriate.  It’s all about managing expectations.

Also On Tap for Today:

  • Attempt to fashion an Advent wreath from 4 candle sticks and some bamboo foraged from our courtyard
  • Sweet and savory homemade gifts 🙂
  • Arriving to boxing on time (fingers crossed)

Do you tend to be tardy?  Or are you always on time?

Comments (8)

  • Hannah Hawley (@sirenical)

    November 29, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    I too am always running late! Glad I am not the only one.

    Also, YOU ROCK! British “Death at a Funeral” is WAY better than the Chris Rock one.

  • Annelise

    November 29, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    I don’t understand why they remade Death at a Funeral a mere 3 years after the original came out! It was literally the same movie but with black people and the same midget. I’m really bitter about this, but am willing to admit James Marsden was a visual upgrade.

  • liverunloveyoga

    November 29, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    I am always late! I try to trick myself all the time. I recently changed all the clocks so they are 5 minutes fast. Wouldn’t you know?! It’s made all the difference! I hope the rest of your week is a bit more punctual!

  • Bridget

    November 29, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    Unless it’s something crazy important…I tend to be just a few minutes late…like why couldnt I possibly get there 5 minutes earlier?!

  • Tracey Leffler

    November 29, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    I have a fear of being late. This extends to work meetings, appointments and social things. If I am going to be more than a few minutes late I will call. I sometimes feel insane doing so, but that same saying always sticks out to me too.

  • Athena @ Fitness & Feta

    November 30, 2011 at 10:25 am

    I am usually excessively early!!! Ahhh. Definitely get that from my mom. 🙂

  • thedailycraic

    November 30, 2011 at 11:13 am

    This one really speaks to me Elizabeth! I have such a warped sense of time, I am literally always late for almost everything in my life. It’s terrible. I need that watch (and I also really need to work on my tardiness). Great post!

  • Elina (Healthy and Sane)

    December 1, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    I’m usually early for business meetings and the like but if it’s a party, or just a casual meeting with friends or something, I’m probably late.
    Did you make it to boxing on time? 🙂

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