Today: Laugh it up, Universe.

[tweetmeme source=”elizabethev” only_single=false] I’m fairly certain that when the Universe needs a good laugh, they’ve got me on speed dial.  On their video phone.  Someone out there has got to be chuckling this week.

[Photo source]

Case in point:  On Tuesday afternoon, I rushed to the Post Office before they closed to buy stamps for a gigantic invitation mailing.  Because I live in the most awesome neighborhood in Boston, there was nowhere to park.  And because I live in the most bizarre neighborhood in Boston, there were actually plenty of places to park, but they were marked with lawn chairs, an old filing cabinet, and a pile of shoes.

I’ve come to the point this winter where I ain’t afraid of no milk crate.  I’ve tossed three– count ’em, three!– space savers into snow banks when I’ve needed to make a quick stop in Southie.  All three times, I put the space saver right back where I found it, and I believe no one was the wiser.  Unless you’re reading this now.  In which case, I drive a… purple…. um…. station wagon. With flames on the side.

What I won’t mess with is space savers that are being guarded by actual, real humans.  It’s like the new breed of neighborhood patrol or something.  Just as I was about to go for one orange cone-marked spot, a woman giving me the Evil Eye popped out of nowhere.  No thanks.

So I circled the block five times, like a complete creep, until a spot finally opened within walking distance of the Post Office.  Apparently this expedition took a full twenty minutes, because my watch read 5:01 as I reached the firmly locked front door.  In some sort of possessed craze, I pressed my face against the glass (Eureka!  That’s how I got a cold again!) and mouthed the words,

“Pleeeaaaaase.  Leeeet meeee iiiiiiiiin.  Staaaaaaaamps.  Ahhhhh.”

It’s a wonder, really, that no one obliged my request.  This is where things go from bad to worse, on in the Universe’s eyes, from good to completely tubular.  I had the invitation in my hand that needed to be weighed so that I could buy the appropriate whatever-cent stamps for the rest of the batch.  I also had a few miscellaneous letters and bills to mail.  Why did I put them all– including the un-stamped, un-weighed invitation– into the giant blue mailbox?  Doh!  I left my stupid parking spot with no stamps, and no invitation with which to determine which stamps I needed to buy in the first place.

Then there was today, when I made a quick trip to the ladies room (not sure why I felt compelled to tell you it was quick, but it was) and was certain I had locked my stall door, until it flew wide open.  And I was not alone in the bathroom.  Naturally. I hate public restrooms.  Especially when they’re really, well,  public.

I could go on and on, but I don’t want you laughing too hard.  At me.

I believe the score stands at Universe: Eleventy million, Elizabeth: zero.

Also On Tap for Today:

• In case you have too much time on your hands, this is how you make your own sprinkles
• Watch too much CSI and wonder about forensic scientist schools
• Should probably go for a run, first post-marathon race is Saturday, woooo!
• Tough call, which is cooler: Painting and drinking or Reading and drinking?

Is the Universe on your side today?