Today: When life hands you roots, brew some root beers!

[tweetmeme source=”elizabethev” only_single=false] Once I tripped over a giant tree root on my way into the butt ugly high school I attended (I’m sorry, but really… that building is heinous to the point of distraction.  And I maintain that is why I performed so poorly in Algebra II.).  I was running late and completely ate it, somehow landing halfway in a puddle.  I did what any normal seventeen year old would have, and picked up myself up, dusted myself off, turned around, drove home and picked out a new outfit.

Ugh. You again.

I think I scared my mother half to death when I reappeared at the house.  After all, I was supposed to be in class at that point.  She probably thought I had been in a car accident.  I hadn’t (I tripped over that root, remember?), but since we’re on the topic, I once was in a car accident with a Japanese business man.  He had, quite literally, just landed in America, rented a car at the airport and BAM!  There we were on the side of a busy off-ramp, him with no driver’s license and me with no common sense.

Back to the root.  That pesky thing really ruined my morning back in 2000.  Today, vengeance is mine!  I just brewed its entire family muhahaha.

Complete with illustrated brewing directions!

I sort of wish this handy kit was called “Ms. Root Beer,” but I get it.  Men have been so oppressed throughout history, the least we could do is let them have gender rights to non-alcoholic home brew kits.  Pssh.  The process in total took less than half an hour.  First (and most importantly, I imagine… nothing ruins a beverage quite like botulism) comes sanitizing the equipment.

The last time I used a funnel... it was with real beer. Collllllllllllege!

After mixing various secret potions into a big bowl, I funneled the soon-to-be-root-beer into four gigantic bottles and tightly sealed the caps.  The final step is probably the most difficult: Wait a few days for things to carbonate before getting slizzzard (on root beer).

Hey root, I got yer family.

Sometime between now and next Sunday, I’ll be sippin’ on some homemade root beer and toasting that pathetic day in high school when I fell on my face.  Revenge is a drink best served in a frosty mug.

Also On Tap for Today:

  • Watching the NBA All Star game and wondering how all that ego fits on our TV screen
  • Just when I thought Spring had sprung…
  • Turning my BlackBerry off at midnight in observation of Presidents’ Day 🙂

What did you make this weekend? Some cupcakes?  A mess?  A new hat?

Comments (7)

  • alex

    February 21, 2011 at 7:25 am

    My husband and I bought that rootbeer kit back in the day and we FAILED at it big time! I hope yours tastes a lot better than ours!!!

  • Emily

    February 21, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    That’s awesome – I wanna make RB!

  • Mandy

    February 21, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    I love your random stories-from one then to another-you always keep me guessing;) I made delicious cake balls this weekend-they are heavenly!!

  • Garden Variety Mama

    February 21, 2011 at 10:00 pm

    Good luck with the root beer; revenge is a wonderful beverage. I guess. But seriously, looks like a lot o fun!

  • metholic

    February 21, 2011 at 11:29 pm

    I’ve made homemade ginger ale, now I’ll have to try this. Glad I found you through ICLW, I’m from Boston but relocated to Indiana and miss it dearly!

  • Empty Whole

    February 23, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    ICLW

    Mmmm…Root Beer, my favorite!

  • Today: And the Oscar doesn’t go to.. «

    February 24, 2011 at 11:35 am

    […] My root beer is ready! […]

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