Today: Step away from the dune.

Erosion is no laughing matter, people.  As I read on the front page of this Sunday’s Boston Globe, one of my favorite beaches is closed for the next two weeks as the stairs (which are insane, and totally unsafe when crowded by tourists and their umbrellas and inflatable alligators) are rebuilt.  Marconi and the rest of the Cape’s National Seashore, which includes Nauset and Coast Guard, have been hit by some major erosion due to this winter’s storms.  Welp, storms… and years of dune-climbing by misbehaved children and misinformed adults.

It seems like every summer we watch at least one person shamefully being escorted from the beach by Park Rangers after attempting to or succeeding in sliding down the giant dunes at Marconi. The worst are the people who randomly appear atop the dunes, several hundred yards from the proper beach entrance, throw their beach chairs and coolers down before them and start to slide… only to be lodged halfway between top and beachdom.  Where the heck are these people coming from?  I will personally fork over the $40 for a season’s parking pass if that’s what will prevent you from ruining the Earth.

Spoken (Tweeted?) like a true ambassador of the Earth and enforcer of the dunes.

Side bar: I’m no scientist, but if I had to guess, I am pretty sure the erosion process speeds up if you’re wearing a Yankees hat on the Cape.

It’s all fun and games until the stairs collapse and the fragile ecosystem hangs in peril and not-so-suddenly our beloved beach is closed. Dingbats.

We may not be able to control Mother Nature and her stormy winters, but we can control our behavior and that of our dependents.  So please, people, step away from the dune. And, if you’re venturing to Marconi this summer and want to avoid looking like a rookie, leave your aforementioned umbrella and alligator at home.  All you need is sunscreen and a boogie board to catch the wave of your life.  Or whatever.

If you’re less curious about naughty dune sliders, and wonder about nature, please read on.  Otherwise, thank you for your attention.  I’ll let you off with a warning.  This time.

For Your Information:

• Coastal Erosion on Cape Cod (if you don’t believe me, perhaps you’ll believe a real scientist)
• Coastal Erosion Along Outer Cape Cod (complete with a faux sand background)
• Cape Cod National Seashore warns of eroded bluff dangers

Do you think I can trick Under Armour into outfitting the Dune Police?  I’d sell my soul to see Katie on television shouting, “Protect this Dune!”

Also On Tap for Today:

• Happy National Running Day
• Dinner with Nick and his co-workers
• On the topic of beaches and common sense: Dr. Oz’s B.E.A.C.H. diet

What steps (get it… like the broken stairs… uh) do you take to protect Mother Nature’s house?