Today: Sick as a… dog.

Maybe Clark wasn’t getting enough attention.  Or, more likely, maybe he bumped into a puppy from the wrong side of the T tracks at the park.  And that bad puppy snotted on him.  Either way, he contracted pneumonia.  And I contracted a serious case of helicopter dog owner syndrome.

I’ve been a hovering loon for the last 4 days, waking up each night at 15 minute intervals to check his breathing (more specifically, to confirm that he is, in fact, breathing) and wiping his face with a cool washcloth.  I read somewhere that puppies find this soothing, and that it reminds them of their mother cleaning them, like… with their tongues.

Gullible?  On the ceiling? Let me put my reading glasses on… ah yes.  There it is.

I, frankly, didn’t know it was possible for dogs to contract pneumonia.  I also didn’t know what neutering actually involved.  I think the vet dreads my appearing in her office.  I ask a lot of questions.  And nearly faint at most of their answers.  Especially if they involve diagrams or pointing to… um… body parts.

For the past few days, Clark’s been on antibiotics, puppy antacid (Pupcid AC, if you will… yikes), some sort of throat coating syringe thing, and a prescription diet that looks and smells not unlike a pile of dead squirrels.  You’re welcome.  And I’m sorry.  The doc suggested we give him a little extra TLC, but since Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes tragically died in a car accident in Honduras in 2002, he’s stuck with me and Nick.

We’re headed back to the vet this afternoon so Clark can have another x-ray and blood work-up.  I am hoping and wishing and praying for a clean bill of doggie health because, frankly, I’ve been worried sick.  And the canned food thing doesn’t help.

Update: Check out this sweet bandage.  More test results will be in tomorrow, but Doc says Clark’s “out of the woods.”  Obviously… we live in the city.

More than once (closer to 16 times, I would say), strange people and strangers have asked if Clark is “practice for a child.”  Beyond this being an awkward and invasive and weird question, the answer is no.. or if it’s yes, it isn’t working.  For one, it’s generally frowned upon to leave children in crates unattended for 3 hours at a time.  And the whole peeing on people’s front lawns… probably not great thing to be practicing.

But I do wonder… How on earth did my parents raise four (very human) children without freaking out any and every time we got sick?

P.S. This is what Clark looks like when he’s not infected.

Also On Tap for Today:

How do you stay cool, calm and collected when you’re feeling the opposite?

Comments (10)

  • BDBF

    February 23, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    You’re the best doggie mother a Frenchie could ask for.

    Love Nick
    and Clark (woof)

  • pandabox33

    February 23, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    Oh no !! I would be frantic too if my cat was sick. Actually I’m panicking every time my cat has a scratch and if he breathes weird and if he doesn’t come back from outside the moment I call.
    I hope Clark gets better soon !

  • Jessica @ Dairy Free Betty

    February 24, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    Oh no!!! Poor Clark!! Lance hurt himself awhile ago, and it was terrible, so I totally understand!!

    Get better buddy!!

  • sharon [www.sistervillage.org]

    February 24, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    your dog is adorable.
    you’re both lucky to have one another!
    i hope everyone feels better soon.
    **********************************
    your blog has a wonderfully fresh and original voice.

  • kimbosue

    February 25, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Poor little guy! Glad he’s “out of the woods.”

    And did you know there are crazy green crunchy moms out there that do diaperless potty training and don’t put a diaper on their kid EVER? Like from birth? And hold them over the potty or the LAWN to do their business? INSANE I tell ya.

    ICLW

    1. Elizabeth

      February 26, 2010 at 9:03 am

      This is terrifying (and hilarious) news! I would not be able to handle that hahaha…. Thanks for stopping by!

  • Sister Sister

    February 25, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    I’m quite sure your parents only raised 2 humans. Child number 2 and 4 are questionable (at bestionable).
    Love you! Andi

    1. Elizabeth

      February 26, 2010 at 9:07 am

      When you were born, you looked like the sloth from my zoo babies book.

  • Jaime

    February 25, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    First…I’m glad Clarkypants is doing better. Poor puppy!!

    OK now I feel it’s OK to tell you that I laughed my butt off during this post. Yer a funny girl.

  • Dana

    February 26, 2010 at 12:40 am

    Awwww I hope your little guy gets better soon!

    ICLW

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