Chats with Grace
I often share my chats with Grace on Facebook with family + friends, mostly because a lot of the things she says are just too good to keep to myself. It occurred to me that you might enjoy them too (couldn’t we all use a good laugh?). And selfishly, I’d love to have these little chats all in one place. So here’s a compilation of her greatest hits, starting with this week’s doozy.
CHATS WITH GRACE
February 2018, On the way to school (Age 4)
- Grace: Can you please tell me about how real Santa is again? And about the real place where he actually lives?
- Me: The North Pole?
- Grace: Yes, if he really lives there… and tell me the truth about Rudolph, too.
- Me: We are almost at school, so I don’t think I have time to answer all these questions.
- Grace: So do you want to talk about where dogs go when they are very, very old instead?
Are those my only options… Santa or All Dogs Go to Heaven?
February 2018, While I try to field… like, sixteen requests (Age 4)
- Me: Sweetheart, I can only do one thing at a time.
- Grace: Because you’re not an octopus + you don’t have eight arms?
- Me: Yes.
- Grace: Blub, blub.
I think that was an octopus impression…
February 2018, While I cook dinner (Age 4)
- Grace: Is pizza meat?
- Me: No, but some people put meat on their pizza.
- Grace: That is not a terrific idea. But just tell me, is pizza meat?
- Me: No.
- Grace: Whaaaaat a relief!
February 2018, On the way home from the Cape (Age 4)
- Grace: *asks 9,000 questions about Rudolph’s nose*
- Me: I think Rudolph’s nose lights up when it needs to light up, and turns off when it needs to turn off… but I really don’t know.
- Grace: If you are feeling frustrated about these questions you can count to three.
- Nicky: SEVEN!
February 2018, On the way to my parents’ house (Age 4)
- Grace: Do you think the Pats are going to win?
- Me: Yes.
- Grace: Did you remember Grandma + Grandpa’s bagels?
- Me: Yes.
- Grace: Do you think Baby Jesus had a nice birthday?
- Me: …Yes, honey.
- Grace: What do you think the theme of His party was?
- Me: 👀
- Grace: Probably the Star of Bethlehem.
- Me: Maybe.
- Grace: Did you have to wear a bonnet when you were a child?
January 2018, During dinner (Age 3)
- Grace: How do you say “I want to go swimming” in Spanish? And I’m going to be a vegetarian for a few more days but maybe I’ll try to eat a hamburger some day. But I probably won’t. Next time we make slime you should get me some rubber gloves. Did you know some people get operations at the hospital?
- Me: 👀
- Nicky: Please I go to bed soon?
Take me with you. 🙏🏻
January 2018, before bed (Age 3)
- Grace: Even though you’re dad’s wife + he’s very special to you, you need to tell him to stop doing tricks on us and also you don’t need to listen to him, okay?
- Me: What do you mean?
- Grace: Just tell him to stop snoring so you can get some sleep, okay?
This, from the person who woke me up at 4:30 AM for a week straight…
November 2017, On the way to school (Age 3)
- Me: *Casually listening to Christmas music in the car on November 13th*
- Grace: Oh Mom, is this an appropriate choice?
- Me: …
- Grace: Please turn it off. The moral of this story is that it’s not Christmas time yet.
😳Whose child is this?!?
October 2017, On the way to school (Age 3)
- Grace: Is that the letter T on that bus?
- Me: Yes, it’s the symbol for the MBTA.
- Grace: That’s very inappropriate!
- Me:…
- Grace: You should NOT drink tea on the bus. And I just saw a grown-up riding a roller-skate-board with no helmet and that’s inappropriate too.
#safetyfirst
July 2017, Getting ready for bed after a day at the beach (Age 3)
- Grace: I have so many great feelings about today!
- Me: *hides in the closet because my heart just burst*
June 2017, At home (Age 3)
- Grace: I love you like a sistaaaaaaa!
- Clark: […silence]*
*because he’s a dog
May 2017, Approximately 5:30 AM (Age 3)
- Grace: Hey, Mom! It’s the first day of your life!
- Me: …Really?
- Grace: Yes. Now can you go get me some farmer clothes so I can raise animals?
August 2016, On the way home from the beach (Age 2)
- Grace: What if you saw a flying seltzer?
- Me: A flying saucer?
- Grace: A FLYING SELTZER! It’s a joke.
Aaaand I saved one of my favorites for last…
January 2016, While I pack lunch for daycare (Age 2)
- Grace: No beans.
- Me: Why not? We love beans.
- Grace: I can’t eat beans! I’m a HUMAN BEAN!
It’s a miracle I get anything done around here, between the hysterical laughter, the evasive non-answers re: Santa, + the fetching of farmer clothes.
I’m one lucky mama.
Also On Tap for Today:
- Highly relevant: Stop Answering Your Children’s Questions from offspring//lifehacker
- Checking out this new podcast
- Keeping an eye on this storm…
Who’s your favorite person to chat with?
Comments (2)
Maggie
March 2, 2018 at 8:43 am
Chuckling to myself as I ride the T to work – this made my morning! I have a 4 year-old (and 2 year-old as well) so I feel your pain! Funny thing is, if I ask her questions she says “too many questions, Mom”!
Janice
March 2, 2018 at 10:04 am
I particularly love Nicky’s response of “SEVEN!”.