Today: The upsides of insomnia.

I’ve never been a good sleeper, but being pregnant really brings out the insomniac in me. It’s partly the discomfort of being the size of Oh my God, Jay, it’s a baby whale, partly the inability to roll over without involuntarily making grunting noises (and/or inducing the worst calf cramp of all time), partly the need to get water and snacks every 20 minutes, and partly a tendency to make and re-make mental hospital bag packing lists all night.

Lately, I’m awake far more than I’m asleep… which is a problematic when it comes to, like, the daily functions of life… but it does have its upsides.

The upsides of insomnia (in no particular order)

1. 4 AM is the perfect time to update your iPhone operating system.  No one else is awake, so no one is calling or emailing you, and no one will notice if you’re off the grid for however long the update takes.  And by update, I am obviously talking about NEW EMOJIS.  While you were sleeping, I was procuring the chipmunk emoji. 
2. It’s quiet.  
3. Sometimes it’s not quiet… like the time our neighbor crashed his Rascal scooter thing into the dumpster next door at 2 in the morning, dug around a bit, and then sped off into the early morning.  You don’t get to witness things like this when you’re sleeping.  At the risk of sounding like a real creep, I know all kinds of stuff about all kinds of people because, welp… I’m awake. (The downside to this particular upside is obvious, though: I pretty much think everyone is a murderer.)
4. If you check the news at set intervals during the night, you become decently aware of the world’s happenings and can basically do your own broadcast each morning.  It’s like that show with the guy from Friday Night Lights (the one where his newspaper got delivered a day early), except that you might be a tiny bit less handsome than Coach Taylor (due to the lack of sleep, sorry).  I love giving Nick updates on celebrity deaths (that sounds morbid, because it is), political polls and um… new emojis when he wakes up.
5. Every once in a while, one of those late night impulse purchases on Amazon Prime turns out to be that thing you couldn’t live without.  (Mostly, though, this is wasteful and fiscally irresponsible… but you’re probably too tired to care.)

And because I try to keep things fair and balanced…

The downside of insomnia

1. I’m exhausted.

No need to say more.

Also On Tap for Today:

• Bootcamp (I feel like our days of outdoor workouts are numbered…)
• Timely: 12 Things I’ve Learned About Food From Watching Gilmore Girls via The Kitchn
• Taking a nap… maybe… hopefully

Tell me all about your weird neighbors.  (Just kidding… kind of…)