Today: What’s up, Doc?

My New Year’s cold has now taken up residence in my chest as a hacking New Year’s cough.  I sound like Walter Matthau.  While picking up Tylenol PM for my older brother yesterday (I can’t tell you why, because I want him to tell you why*), I actually paused in the first aid aisle of CVS and considered buying one of those SARS masks.  Or three.  One for me, and one for each of my friends.  And then I remembered I needed Chapstick and mosied on to the next aisle.

I feel sickly enough that I thought about making a doctor’s appointment, but didn’t, because I think my doctor is a complete weirdo.  Does anyone else wish they could still see their pediatrician?  No?  Anyone?  My pediatrician was my primary care physician until I turned, like 24 or something.  Mom, remember that time you took me to the doctor right after my college graduation?  Now that was a good time.  I thoughtfully explained my symptoms (headache, lack of appetite, general lethargy and grouchiness), right before my mother announced that I had been drinking from a beer funnel before graduation.  Fantastic.  Someone must have leaked those pictures to the five o’clock news!

By the way, I think I was diagnosed with a hangover (or, fellow Eagles, life after Senior Week).  Meanwhile, there was a two year old in the room next door getting a booster shot.  Not okay.  So now I have this bizarre doctor who sees approximately 7,900 patients per day and is hiding approximately 12 birds in her giant hair.  I found her, not surprisingly, on the internet.  I have another new year’s resolution to add to the list: break up with Doctor Strangehair.

On a totally different note, Doc was my grandfather’s nickname.  His BFFL (and they really were best friends for life) gave him the name when they were really little, after Grandpa saved an injured squirrel.  Or was it a bird?  I don’t know, but I bet he would have been a really good doctor.  Mostly because he was a really good man.

*I am being vague because a. my brother had the most unbelievable day of all time yesterday and b. I want to trick him into being a guest blogger, exploiting his story to drive up traffic on ohcrapnottoday ontapfortoday.

Also On Tap for Today:

• Figure out how to expel the salmon smell from our kitchen
• Unsubscribe from all those annoying email lists, resulting from too much online Christmas shopping
• Teleport to China for the Harbin Ice and Snow Sculpture Festival

Do you have an adorable nickname?  Or a normal doctor?