Tag Archives: wellness

This week’s meal + workout plan

Some weeks I fly by the seat of my yoga pants and things go well workout and meal-wise.  But other times, we have a week like last week and the lack of planning nearly does me in.  As much as I like to pretend I’m all Type C (is there one of those?), laid back and simultaneously highly motivated… I am not those things.  I need a plan.

meal plan July 17

I’ll be the first to admit I can be tightly wound and yet… given the chance to eat popcorn for dinner while watching three back-to-back episodes of The Great British Bake Off… I will take it.  Every, single time.  I thrive when my days are orderly and structured (which is sort of a pipe dream when you’re parenting).  

I like checking things (including workouts) off my list.  And who doesn’t love knowing dinner is made and safely waiting for you in its nice little glass container in the fridge?   I find a little planning and prep goes a long way.  Even in the summer.  When I’m trying to be all cool and casual.  

MEAL + WORKOUT PLAN | WEEK OF JULY 17

meal plan peach smoothie

MEAL PLAN:

MEAL + SNACK PREP:

  • Prepped today: Everyday Detox basil vinaigrette; smoothie for tomorrow morning (hemp milk, frozen pineapple, frozen peaches, raw honey + parsley); cooked farro; kale chips; cooked corn; washed + chopped fruit for breakfasts/snacks
  • To prep tomorrow during naps (…God willing): Wash + chop vegetables for salads/snacks; bake sweet potatoes

WORKOUTS

I have a newfound love for our C2 Rower in the basement at the Cape.  I’ve only ever rowed in short spurts during CrossFit classes, but realized this weekend how tough, effective and semi-fun a longer row can be.

  • Monday: Stroller run/walk 4 miles
  • Tuesday: Stroller run/walk 4 miles
  • Wednesday: MB Tabata workout + row 30 minutes
  • Thursday: Stroller run/walk 4 miles
  • Friday: MB class or rest
  • Saturday: Row 30 minutes
  • Sunday: Rest

Semi-related: If you’re looking for a new Spotify workout playlist, here are my current jams.  Pardon the swear words.  

Also On Tap for Today:

What’s your workout or meal plan for the week?

 

Currently | January 2017

 

CURRENTLY | JANUARY 2017

currently january 2017

I don’t want to jinx it, but I think I’ve finally recovered from President Obama’s Farewell Address… which was Tuesday night (i.e. nearly 48 hours ago).  

Baby Nick woke up bawling just seconds after the President said “Michelle LaVaughn Robinson, girl of the South Side…”  I was bawling at that point too, cradling my sweet child, grateful that both our children were born at a time when such an incredibly smart, respectful, kind and caring family lived in our nation’s White House.  I am doing my best during these remaining days of Barack Obama’s presidency to watch every video of the President + kids, the President + dogs, and the President + VP (especially today’s Medal of Freedom presentation) as humanly possible… rather than give into the sadness and anger simmering below the surface (real talk).

Also, it was snowing and single digits this weekend… but it’s 55 degrees in Boston today.  The world is ending.

On that uplifting note…

CURRENTLY EATING

currently eating

  • Variations of the Sprouted Kitchen lentil soup I raved about a couple weeks ago
  • Simple snacks to share with Baby Nick… because these days, he has major food FOMO and needs to sample any/everything on my plate.  Blackberries and cottage cheese have been a big hit this week.
  • All the winter citrus, all the winter citrus, all the winter citrus… put your stems up. (Or whatever.) I especially love satsumas, and not just because you can buy them with the leaves and stems still attached.

CURRENTLY DRINKING

currently drinking

  • Water (obvi)
  • Not a single Diet Coke today (not so obvi)
  • Fiveway Veggie Broth (definitely unexpected) – I received a complimentary sample right before the holidays and am totally hooked on this incredibly flavorful broth, which you can straight up drink from the bottle.  I like warming it up on the stove and drinking from my beloved “BC Grandpa” mug, it’s both delcious and fortifying.  Non-vegetarians will likely dig their bone broths.  Fiveway products can be found locally in Massachusetts + New Hampshire.

CURRENTLY MAKING

currently making

  • More gouache chairs
  • Plans for Grace’s “unicorns doing gymnastics” birthday party 
  • Finishing my tutorial for the upcoming Get Messy Art Journal season (***stay tuned for a membership giveaway coming soon!)

CURRENTLY WEARING

currently wearing

  • Bean boots (the ones without laces, because I’m lazy stylish) + Bean boots socks (so cozy) + a smug smile for having ordered them early enough in the year to beat the inevitable selling out (at last check, there were still sizes 9 + 10 available)
  • My new FitBit (a Christmas present from Nick), the Charge 2 special edition (lavender + rose gold, so pretty) — I really liked the Charge HR, but there are so many design/functional improvements in this version.  I especially like the 2 minute guided breathing program.  People like me need tiny wrist computers to remind them to breathe.  

CURRENTLY WATCHING

currently watching

  • The babes enjoy winter… it’s just the best.  Nick, Grace, Baby Nick, Clark and I had so much fun being snowed in down the Cape last weekend.  I love watching the kids and Clark explore in the yard. I’m so grateful that we have an escape from the city (and that we have the city to return to, as well).

 

CURRENTLY LOVING

currently loving

We’re only two weeks into the year… but things are good.  And so are you.

Also On Tap for Today:

  • Playing “You have a skunk in your clothes! Get the shovel!” with Grace (I don’t really know how to play, I just follow her lead and yell those two sentences over and over)
  • Busting some behind closed doors clutter with Apartment Therapy
  • Looking for a new book to read

What’ve you been up to this month?

Winter rest

This time between Christmas and the New Year has turned into the perfect little winter rest.  Nick had a few days off from work, we let Grace play preschool hooky for the week, and welp… baby Nick, Clark and I live on a very flexible schedule that revolves around naps and snack time.  And laundry.  But mostly snack time.

winter rest

We’ve been hiding out (but not really, because everyone knows we’re here) down the Cape, watching the birds.  And eating soup.  Hanging up some artwork and setting up a basement gym.  Reading my favorite Wendell Berry poem and resting.  Binge-watching Super Store once the kids are in bed.  Coloring and playing trains.  Trying to perfect my recycling system.  Hunkering down and staying in.

The largest part of me is an optimist and is fed by hope.  But there’s that tiny part of me that is cynical and practical and maybe even a little wary.  So I’m grateful for this week, this winter rest, both because it seems like the perfect end to an imperfect year… and because I know that time like this will give me a deeper well to draw from in the future. 

That favorite poem I mentioned (you can hear Wendell Berry read it here) starts like this, “When despair for the world grows in me…”

And it ends like this, “For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.”

So that’s where I will be until 2017.  Resting.

Also On Tap for Today:

  • Spending a few hours at the Cape Cod Museum of Natural History before it closes for the winter
  • 5 heart-opening yoga poses for the new year from mindbodygreen
  • Performing a very scientific experiment involving a waffle maker + cinnamon rolls

How do you keep your well of sanity/balance/happiness/gratitude/Cheez-Its full (or at least, not empty)?

Prioritize sleep.

I missed an entire night of sleep this week (baby Nick were at the hospital– he was having a little respiratory trouble, but is much, much better).  Remember when we were in college and did that on purpose, stay up all night?  I’d like to travel back in time and give 2004 Elizabeth a real talkin’ to.  

And while I’m at it, I might as well travel back even further and tell 1982-ish Elizabeth that staying up all night and skipping naps is just wrong.  Plus, it’s a crime against your sleepy parents. 

34-year-old me cannot hang on no sleep.  And even on a good night, I could stand to catch a few more hours of sleep.  I’m guessing you can relate.

September sunsets are pretty great. So is sleeping for more than 2 hours and 12 minutes per night.

September sunsets in South Boston are pretty great. As is sleeping for more than 2 hours and 12 minutes per night.

So I’ve become obsessed with learning how to prioritize sleep.  How to fall asleep sooner.  How to stay asleep longer.  How sleep affects our brains and our bodies and our moods and how many plates of nachos we want to eat and/or actually eat.

PRIORITIZE SLEEP

A few things that have caught my attention:

prioritize sleep bath

Spoiler alert: If it works for you, do it.  (Slight bummer: It doesn’t work for everyone.)  A good soak definitely seems to help me quiet my mind and relax my body after a long week.  I love this epsom soak, especially after a tough workout.

prioritize sleep book

I really enjoyed this book (and it is little, relatively speaking, perfect for overtired readers).  There’s an entire section devoted to sleep, one of the master keys of health, as Dr. LoGuidice calls it.  

  • Sleep Like a Champion: Sleep Tips for Athletes from Casper

prioritize sleep casper

We’re big fans of Casper (even Clark, who has never missed a minute of sleep in his life and is currently cuddled up on the Casper dog bed Nick recently ordered for him), and I thought this info sleep stages, in particular, was interesting.  I know my fellow Mama Beasts and I are likely years (decades?) away from getting 10 hours of sleep, but I like knowing that any increase in quality sleep could improve our speed, reaction time and overall athletic performance.  And maybe it’s time I learn to nap when the babies nap.

This gentle, nighttime flow is heaven.

prioritize sleep smoothie

Kale, check. Yogurt, check. Banana, check.  Seasonally inappropriate glass, check.

Even better: Most of these are already in my kitchen — tart cherry juice (also great for workout recovery), yogurt, whole grains, kale, bananas… even Cheerios.

This is one my go-to tricks for falling asleep quickly.  It’s sort of like counting sheep, but with, like… breathing.  It seems a little weird, but trust me.  Try it.

On that note… time for a responsibly early bedtime.

Also On Tap for Today:

Do you have a bedtime routine?  

 

Guard your spirit.

“Guard your spirit” is something I used to jokingly say to my dog, covering his eyes if there was violence on the evening news.  I would tell Nick that our little Frenchie was very sensitive and needed to be protected from things like swear words and fighting and pizzas that have mini hotdogs where the crust should be (I still can’t believe that’s a thing.  And we wonder why people think Americans are not okay.).

guard your spirit clark

My (spirit) guard dog

I think I’ve always been a somewhat sensitive person.  But I’ve gotten considerably more sensitive with age.  And ever more so as a mother.  I chalk some of this up to the fact that I haven’t slept since May of 2012, but I sort believe that the older we get, the more ourselves we become.  (Please don’t check my grammar on that last sentence.  We’ll both be disappointed.)  

I used to be able to watch six documentaries on serial killers in a row without needing to booby trap my own house.  I could listen to the baddest, most inappropriate music on the dial without flinching.  I could (for the most part– we all have our limits) hang with negative, bossy, rude people and not turn too awful myself.  And I could watch the evening news without covering Clark’s eyes, and plotting to lock everyone that I love in a closet (with plenty of snacks and a good ventilation system, obvi) so that nothing bad could ever happen to them.  Besides the whole being locked in a closet thing.  Speaking of which, add claustrophobia to my growing list of issues sensitivities.  

So these days, when I say Guard your spirit (most often to myself), I actually mean it.  And what I mean is this:  I am the person who I am.  And that person is part-sponge.  And that’s okay.  And I can do things to avoid becoming wrung out or water logged.  Here are a few of those things (I’m pretty sure they work for all types of people).

GUARD YOUR SPIRIT

Be picky in the best way possible

guard your spirit plants

My best friends are self-sufficient plants.

  • Choose to spend time with people who bring out the best in you.  People who are kind, motivating, and encouraging.  (And be that sort of person for other people.)
  • Take advantage when opportunities present themselves.  For me, this means embracing even a tiny bit of alone time. There are days when I sort of want to yell, “No one talk to me, no one touch me, no one look at me, no one stick a Duplo in my bra, no one breathe near me!” But that would be rude.  So instead, I pretend I have to use the bathroom… and just hide in there for 3 whole minutes.  For more civilized people, this might mean prioritizing a last minute coffee date with a friend over some other obligation.
  • Be mindful of your goals and work to ensure your priorities (and like, daily behaviors) are aligned with these goals.  Don’t do things that work in opposition to these goals.  (Easier typed than done, I know.)  Your time and energy are not endless in supply.  Use ’em wisely.

Be careful about what you consume

guard your spirit waves

  • This goes for food and drink and things you put on your body (like clothes and make-up and glitter gel from the 90’s and dogs that demand to sit directly on your chest whilst you try to relax).
  • …But it’s equally important when it comes to media.  You don’t need to follow everyone and their grandmother (and let’s be serious, the grandmothers are present and accounted for on Facebook).  If what someone shares– tweets, photos, commentary, what have you– affects you negatively, unfollow.  And don’t feel guilty.  Think of it this way: our mental and emotional feeds are limited.  Don’t waste that space on pictures of cats eating steak or racist Facebook rants. Save it for waves gently crashing onto the shore.  Or whatever floats your proverbial boat.  Get it… waves… boats…. cool.
  • Know what works for you.  I don’t read fiction or watch shows or movies that contain much violence (especially if it involves violence against women or children).  This is not entertaining for me, and doesn’t make me a more informed or helpful person.  YouTube videos featuring baby pigs eating tiny cupcakes do entertain me.  Jury’s still out on whether or not they make me better informed or more helpful.  
  • Have a stash of treasured books, music, poems, artwork, movies, podcasts, drawings, pig videos, plants etc. at the ready when you need a little (or big) boost.  Some of my favorites: Mary Oliver, Hafez, Rumi, the On Being podcast, Wendell BerryParis to the Moon, Peggy: A Brave Chicken on a Big Adventure.

Default to kindness

  • On my worst days, I default to giving people the finger as they cut me off in the Columbia Rd. rotary.  But on my best days, I default to kindness.  It’s a habit that takes work.  I try to practice in little ways, like saying hello to strangers (but not in a creepy or unsafe way).  Or being truly patient (rather than pretending to be patient, but actually being annoyed) while people cross the street.  Or giving people the benefit of the doubt, that they’re doing their best for the moment.
  • So much of being a parent to two young children feels reactionary.  And prior to being at home with Grace and baby Nick, I worked in a very reactionary, which-fire-should-I-extinguish-first, kind of field.  I’m (very) slowly learning to react with less stress, less need to be right, less authority… and more kindness.  I think it’s sort of like when robots are re-programed so that they are, like, friendly robots instead of war robots in those war robot movies that you couldn’t pay me a trillion dollars to watch.  Just a guess.

Take care of yourself

guard your spirit salad

  • There are going to be plenty of times when we miss an opportunity to guard our spirits (like when you try to not watch the debate, but then you have to take your sick baby– he’s fine!– to the ER and all the TVs are tuned to CNN… WHY?). And there will be times when life goes sideways, in tiny or tragic ways.  And the better we’ve cared for ourselves, the better prepared we will be for those unexpected, unwelcome, unhappy or un-whatever times.
  • So take care of yourself.  Eat well.  Drink plenty of water.  And then a little more.  Sleep well (assuming that’s an option and you don’t have a tiny human yelling at you all night).  Exercise.  Pray.  Meditate.  Paint.  Hold a sleeping baby.  Hold an awake baby.  Do hula hooping in the park.  Let a dog sit on your chest for no apparent reason other than that’s what he wants to do.  

Be a nice person to yourself, and a nice person to other people.  And don’t watch recaps of the presidential debate.  Just kidding… kind of.

P.S. Happy Birthday to the best mother and grandmother we could ever hope for!

Also On Tap for Today:

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever said to your dog?  How do you guard your spirit?

 

Today: January goals (and a printable calendar).

Hello from the other siiiiiide of New Year’s Eve.

(For the record: Now that we’re nearing a month of newborn-related sleep deprivation, everything I say and do is the funniest thing ever… to me, at least.  It would seem my siblings feel differently.  Either that or their phones are broken in such a way that they cannot reply to my hilarious bitmoji texts.)

January goals and a printable calendar

january goals and a printable calendar

Materials used: Micron pen (black 01), Sakura Koi Coloring Brush Pens, Winsor and Newton Professional Watercolors, random craft paint (acrylic), good old Microsoft Word (for the calendar table)

My questionable comedienne status aside, it is New Year’s Day and I’ve got January goals and a printable calendar to share with you.  Rather than setting year-long resolutions, I’m sticking to monthly goals and intentions.  Mostly because I can barely imagine what tomorrow will bring, let alone how many days I can deprive myself of Diet Coke come November.  

The calendar is a part of a larger goal I have to both make and share more art.  Please feel free to share, download and print as you like.  Consider it a gift to offset the un-funny Adele joke above.  And unless I completely space out, I’ll draw and paint a new calendar for you on the first of each month.

click here to download your free, printable January calendar

Here are the rest of my January goals, semi-organized for your reading pleasure.

Family

  • Celebrate Grace’s 2nd birthday in style (…whatever that means)
  • 2 trips to the children’s library
  • Photograph Grace and (baby) Nick and send out New Year’s cards/birth announcements (we sort of missed the boat on Christmas cards)
  • Listen to Serial with (adult) Nick each week (Nerdtown, USA: Population of 2)

Wellness

  • Schedule doctor’s and dentist’s and vet’s appointments for the beginning of the year
  • Get back in the workout groove (after being cleared to exercise at my six week postpartum check-up) and share weekly round-ups for accountability and motivation
  • Drink fewer than 600 Diet Cokes a week
  • Wear FitBit every day (this feels like a do-able precursor to setting a daily step or sleep goal)
  • Set aside 10 minutes each day to make something (and make peace with the fact that these “somethings” will likely take days or weeks to be finished products)

Home

  • Throw out, recycle or donate everything
  • Make a list of specific spaces in our condo to tackle and start chipping away at the decluttering
  • Hire a new housecleaner (we parted ways with ours in December, and I am not an especially talented duster… and let’s just say, both are evident)
  • Participate in Apartment Therapy’s January Cure

Community

  • Join a new parish (this is sort of major, and in the works — we love our current parish, but will be moving to one in our own neighborhood this year)
  • Participate in at least one of my fitness group’s social activities (the group has monthly birthday parties for kids, a mom’s night out, recipe swaps, etc.) rather than ducking out right after the workout, as I’ve done in the past #awkwardfaceemoji
  • Share at least one friend’s blog post or project per week

Here’s to a productive, happy, healthy, sort-of-hilarious month.

Also On Tap for Today:

What’s On Tap for your January?

Today: Fear is not productive.

For the record, this post is supposed to be suitable for all  humans.  It isn’t supposed to be about being a mom.  Or boobs.  Or CPR.  It just starts that way, so like… bear with me.

 We took a bunch of classes in an effort to prepare for Grace’s arrival.  Infant CPR felt both helpful and necessary.  Breastfeeding Basics was, well, basically useless.  None of it made sense until I actually started breastfeeding, and at that point, I had the invaluable support of lactation consultants in the hospital.  They helped me figure that cool stuff out.  During the class itself, we watched some weird slide shows (I have never seen so many boobs in my life, nor do I expect to, ever ever again), and a movie with credits that included a thank you “to the women of Bulgaria.”  I am still not sure what to make of that.  Our instructor for Child Safety went a bit rogue, so the class was more about how weird babies can look when their born, and less about… safety.

Fortunately, the gaps left by the safety class were more than filled in when I had an appointment with a Boston Police officer to have our car seat inspected, just two days before Grace made her early arrival.  What I thought would be a two minute check of our car seat (which Nick had expertly installed) turned into 90 minutes of me learning how to actually use our car seat (little did I know how soon I be putting this new found knowledge to work), how many air bags my car has, which items in the trunk could turn into projectiles if (God forbid) I got into an accident, how to safely flee an emergency by car with an infant in tow, how to use a car seat without a base if I were to flee an emergency by taxi, and the importance of actually reading safety manuals.

Our childbirth class was cut short by a blizzard, so while we learned a bit about labor, we never learned about delivery.  Needless to say, when it came time to deliver Grace… Nick and I both had a lot of questions.  And I am certain our attending midwife and nurses had several questions about us.

Anyway, in an ongoing effort to get my life together before going back to work in just a short time (don’t get me started, I am almost out of Kleenexes), I was sorting through various info packets from the aforementioned classes, and I came across a page of notes I had taken.  In all caps, I had written,

Fear is not productive.

I remember one of the instructors mentioning that fear (and anxiety and worry) can slow down labor.  I am pretty sure I wrote this sentence down so that I could remember it if I went into labor and we were stuck in traffic.  Or in an elevator.  Like, I would look at pictures of clowns (or something equally terrifying) and the fear would persuade our baby to wait until we were safely at the hospital.

I think, at the time, I missed the point.  The instructor meant that being informed, making preparations, and feeling a sense of control would have the opposite effect.  Fear is not productive.  Being empowered is.  With seemingly so much more to worry about, to be anxious about, and to feel doubtful about these days, I needed this reminder.

Sure, in certain cases, fear probably is quite productive.  Say, if I were a cavewoman and a lion came into my cave to eat my cheese doodles, and I saw the lion, and I felt afraid… and that fear caused me to take my doodles (you can’t leave them behind, I imagine they were really hard to come by in those days) and run?  Productive.  Or that time I went skydiving with my ex-boyfriend in college (that should totally be the name of a Lifetime move: Skydiving with My Ex…. and  maybe on the way to the airfield, before she actually skydives, the main character would find out that she had been switched at birth, just to keep things realistic interesting.  Feel free to steal and pitch this idea to the network.), and I felt fear overwhelm me as I prepared to jump.  That’s productive.  People really shouldn’t jump out of planes for no reason.  Fortunately, I survived, but I did lose a contact lens during free fall.

Real, physical fear — the kind that has helped us stay alive as a species for so long — aside, the kind of fear that has us trying to predict the future, or read others’ minds, or play out all possible scenarios, is not productive.  Worrying about whether or not Grace will be happy at day care is not going to make her any more or less happy.  Getting anxious about making time to fit everything into the day is not going to fold the laundry, preside over meetings, pick out a semi-normal outfit for me to wear, and finish a workout.  That kind of fear is just not productive.  It wastes time.  It wastes energy.  And it leads to more fear.

As much as I love cop shows (which is to say, a lot), I’ve always been squeamish when it comes to the violent parts.  I like the intrigue, the plotting, and the cool police lingo, but I’ve always tended to cover my eyes during any of the real action.  I got into the habit, jokingly, of covering Clark’s eyes, too and telling him to “guard his spirit.”  This has always made Nick laugh, but I’ve caught myself saying this hippy b.s. more and more… and sort of seriously.  And most often to, well, myself.

When that unproductive fear creeps in, we’ve got to guard our spirits.  And with that, I am off to legally change my name to Soleil Moon Frye Dreamcatcher Incense Flower.

Also On Tap for Today:

Do you have any unusual fears?  What was the caveperson version of cheese doodles?

Today: When enough is… too much.

I left home precisely three times between Friday and Sunday evening.

  1. I went for a walk with Clark (before you report me to the ASPCA or Sarah McLachlan, rest assured that Nick picked up my slack)
  2. I made a trip to the pharmacy for cough drops (and crossword puzzles)
  3. I met with our friendly neighborhood police officer to have our car seat inspected (Last Minute Larry strikes again)

I spent the rest of the weekend asleep, trying to be asleep, moaning and groaning, being stumped by crossword puzzles, watching the Kill Cliff East Coast Championships online (while my ticket to the event mocked me from the coffee table), wondering if you can wear more than one Breathe Right strip, and starring in my own one-woman version of Les Miserables.  I don’t know if I should admit this (especially after promising you that you didn’t need to call animal welfare on me), but at one point I was so conked out that I drooled on my own dog.  He didn’t seem to mind (and he loves that I am on the same napping schedule as him), but I was mortified.

I went from feeling great for the better part of 36 weeks to, seemingly suddenly, feeling… not so great.  Our midwife encouraged me to slow down.  I wanted to, but I also felt like I had a ton of work to get done.  And I wanted to squeeze in one more workout before putting my CrossFit membership on hold.  Also, I finally remembered what I forgot to get at the store, and so I figured I should go get it.  And I had just one more big work event to pull off, so I worked late to ensure it went perfectly.  Several nights in a row.  And I wore heels to the event.  Plus, I scheduled a couple more meetings.  And I invented other things to add to my to do list.

While my ego tries to keep busy and be important, my body is saying, enough is enough.  I could do without this rotten cold, and I wish I wasn’t such a boob for letting myself get this run down, but I’m finally seeing how badly I do need to slow down during these last few weeks (or days?).

Enough is enough… but it’s also too much.  I can’t keep up.  I can’t do what I’ve always done.  And that’s okay (even if it’s been a bit of a challenge to accept).  After all, it’s not just about me any more.  

If you can learn this lesson without polishing off a box of Kleenexes, please do.  From here on out, I’m steering clear of my ego and listening to my tired, not-so-little body.

A few more things to avoid when you’re pregnant (or just a human, in general):

  • Other people:  (Sort of.)  People say really weird things to pregnant women.  I’ve heard some real doozies, from the security guard in Detroit who told me that she did voodoo on me, causing me to have twins (I was like, Maybe, use your voodoo for something more productive… like fixing Detroit?), to the man in my office building who asked, “Did you get fat, or are your pregnant?” or the woman at the supermarket who told me my doctor was wrong, and that I would have a baby before Christmas.  And it’s not just strangers.  People I know and love have said some bizarre things, too.  It’s sort of impractical to avoid people altogether (especially when you consider my next suggestion), but it’s important to develop some sound coping mechanisms for the inevitable weirdness.  Please don’t let the comments get to you.  They are likely coming from a good place.  I think.  
  • Too much alone time: I have never been so far inside my own head as I have been these past nine months.  I would likely be lost in there if I didn’t have a support system to field my questions, listen to my worries, offer suggestions, and laugh (in sort of a sad way) at me when I thought my belly button was connected to the baby’s belly button via the umbilical cord.  (Don’t ask, don’t tell.)
  • The internet:  I should be banned from WebMD.  In the past week alone, I’ve diagnosed myself with six different incurable diseases.  And I’ve cried about all six of them.  When I stopped crying, I went on BuzzFeed (usually a reliable source of laughter, i.e. the opposite of crying), only to stumble on this terribly sad cartoon about how dogs grieve for their scattered children.  I thought it would be something cute about grown-up dogs following their puppies on Instagram (shameless plug for @clarkthefrenchie), but it was actually devastating.  Please don’t read it.  Unless you want your day life ruined.
  • Comparison:  Every person is different.  Every pregnancy is different.  You’re probably doing it perfectly.  For you.

Oh.  And avoid soft cheese.  Which is just plain rude.  I want my first meal in the hospital to be an entire wheel of brie.  Maybe.  Actually, I think I want a root beer float.

Also On Tap for Today:

How did you spend your weekend?