Tag Archives: Twitter

Today: Take your vitamins.

[tweetmeme source=”elizabethev” only_single=false]My body celebrated the second day of summer by coming down with a cold.  Quite rude, if you ask me.  With the weather being so hazy, hot and humid I would much rather be up at the pool than zonked out on the sofa.

After a few days of sniffling and wondering if I had accidentally swallowed a knife, I am starting to feel better.  I wonder though, can I blame this cold for the fact that I attempted to meet my girlfriends at the wrong restaurant on Friday night?  I was quite proud of myself for being early and snagging the best table in the house, until I realized my error.  The waiter thought I had been stood up and insisted that my soda water was on the house.  It was rather mortifying.

Clearly my body (and my brain) could use a time out.  And perhaps, some vitamins.  I know there are those who are anti-vitamins and supplements.  In an ideal world, I’d get everything my body needs from my diet.  While I am not a doctor, a scientist, an astronaut, nor an RD, I do know this for sure:

  1. My diet is far from perfect.
  2. Vitamins will only work if I, um, actually take them.

And I often forget to take them.  Kelly reminded me to take yesterday’s multivitamin and vegetarian DHA (sort of like fish oil, minus the fish), but I am not certain that nooding around on Twitter is the most reliable system for ensuring I take them daily.

So I started thinking about my daily routine.  What’s one thing I never, ever forget to do?  Load up on the mascara.  I also find that planning out my week each Sunday, whether it’s meetings, meals or workouts, really helps.  You know those pill holder things that old people the most experienced members of our society use?

I now own a sweet purple one.  I filled the week’s worth of soft gels this morning (which reminded me of that pebble game, Mancala, that we used to spend hours playing at the beach), and tucked the container into my makeup bag, right next to the mascara.

I think I am on to something.  Maybe.

Also On Tap for Today:

What’s one thing you never forget to do?

Today: Will tweet for jeans.

[tweetmeme source=”elizabethev” only_single=false]Tuesdays are usually my night to hit the boxing gym (and subsequently get hit by other people, in the head) and then hit the hay.  I change out of my “real” clothes the second my condo door closes behind me.  Yoga pants were made for 6pm.  This Tuesday, however, I held off on the elastic waistbands and heavy bag to meet Tina and Bridget for Champagne cocktails, tweeting and shopping at the Nordstrom Rack opening event in Burlington.

This event was designed for someone so much cooler than me; it’s a miracle they let me in the front door.  Truly.  The store opens to the public today, but we were given the chance to check out the Rack’s goods a few days early, while tweeting up a storm (#rackopening).  All the while, a DJ played some pretty awesome music, drinks and appetizers made the rounds, and a security team guarded the door.  We each received a gift card, which I put toward a great pair of jeans (Joe’s Jeans are perfect for shorties like me, no hemming needed).  I imagine this what shopping with Britney Spears (before she shaved her head and used her umbrella to poke holes in a car door) was like.  I’ll take shopping with Tina and Bridget over that hot mess any day of the week (yes, especially Tuesdays).

I first discovered the danger magic of Nordstrom Rack a few years ago, when Nick was in Portland, Oregon for business (that sounds so mysterious).  I flew out to visit him for the weekend, arriving in the middle of the work day.  What’s the first thing you should do in a strange city?  Take a tourist map and venture out into unknown neighborhoods!  Flash your cash and jewelry!  Act nervous and distracted!  Duck into the first doorway that isn’t blocked by a man wielding some sort of sword!

That first doorway happened to lead to Portland’s Nordstrom Rack.  I felt like I died and gone to fashion heaven.  If I wasn’t traveling with a strict carry-on only policy, I would have done some major damage.  (For the record, Portland isn’t that scary.  Me on no sleep navigating a new city, however, is very scary.  And yes, there really was a sword.)  If you’re looking to score designer jeans, fun watches and costume jewelry, a special occasion dress or killer handbag, I highly recommend a Tuesday, Wednesday, Sunday… really any day trip to the Rack.

You may have to supply your own Champagne, music and security detail though.  Can’t win ’em all.

Also On Tap for Today:

Do you prefer shopping solo or with friends?

Today: Laugh it off.

According to scientists a random website claiming to quote a Vanderbilt study, one can burn as many as 50 calories a day by laughing.  Fifty calories!  That’s half a 100 calorie pack of Cheez-Its!  Good heavens.  If you laughed off 50 calories a day, you could laugh off a full 4.4 lbs each year.  Wouldn’t that be fun?  The challenge, of course, is that you’d have to find something to laugh about on the reg.  If you’re me, you look in the mirror and find an endless reservoir of giggles.

But you’re not me.  You’re you.  And you might need some help.  Shall we?

Facebook in Real Life

My favorite line? “…we met on an oil rig and we were lovers for fifty years!”

Cute Overload

Overload would imply that at some point, you’ve had enough.  I’ve been devoting quite a bit of my life’s time to scrolling through the pages of Cute Overload and if anything, I am left wanting more.  More pictures of baby goats standing atop open dishwasher doors, to be specific.

Source: www.cuteoverload.com

Hit up the Hallmark aisle.

They pay their writers for a reason.  That reason? So we can pass time in the card section, even when we have no occasion for which to be buying cards, awkwardly solo-laughing in public.

Follow Eyjafjallajokul (yes, the volcano) on Twitter.

There have been no new tweets since s/he stopped erupting, but when s/he was active (both environmentally and on Twitter) s/he was a real hoot.

Check your local listings… and newspapers.

I don’t know about you, but I find the best flavor of humor is often local.  Straight out of Massachusetts this week:

  • Lord Jesus Christ was hit by a car while crossing the street.  WBZ got the exclusive interview with JC, no… not that one. The other one.  From the article: “Christ is still sore from last week’s accident, but true to his name, he is praying for a quick recovery. ‘I feel very privileged to have the name. I’m the second person to have that name. The first one was 2,000 years ago.'”  Oh.  Okay.

And don’t even get me started on public access television.  There’s a show that airs on the Cape that, as best I can tell, features two cranky ladies gossiping in their finest embroidered turtlenecks.  I love it.  My hometown newspaper is often rife with comedic gems, better known as Letters to the Editor.  When I worked in Rhode Island, I discovered that the local paper in town took this practice to a whole ‘nutha level, publishing anonymous phone messages (seriously) in a section titled “Speak Out.”

Speaking of anonymous phone calls, who doesn’t love a good prank call?

Old people call them “the funnies” for a reason, I think.

I prefer the old-fangled ones, but the new fangled ones are good for a laugh, too.

Source: www.nataliedee.com

Pirate jokes.  They arrrgh my favorite.

A pirate walked into a bar with a ships wheel shoved down the front of his pants.  The bartender saw him approach the bar and asked, “Sir, are you aware you have a ship’s wheel in your trousers?”  “Ay,” the pirate replied, “it’s drivin’ me nuts.”

Too vulgar?  My apologies.

Rent Clark for an hour.

According to his dog walker, he is a one man (canine?) comedy show.  Please excuse the pee/poo over-share.  And the misspelling of Clark.

In truth, you can’t rent him, but excessive photos and videos are free of charge.  Just say the word.  I stalk my dog.

Also On Tap for Today:

Your turn.  Make me laugh and I will be your fifty-calorie-burning friend forever.