Tag Archives: toddlers

Yesterday’s misadventures.

First up, a photo that has nothing to do with anything. It’s just something nice to look at while I go free association about yesterday’s misadventures.

yesterday's misadventures

THINGS THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY:

In the order which they occurred… I think…

  • Nicky snuck a half-eaten banana into the dyer while I was unloading laundry.
  • I woefully underestimated the timing for our morning routine and had to forgo a shower (but figured I’d sneak one in mid-morning #lol #no).
  • Immediately after we dropped Grace off at her summer program, Nicky fell and cut the back of his head badly enough to need stitches.  
  • He was such a champ.  I was a wreck.
  • While he was getting tended to (and squirming a bit), I somehow ended up with surgical glue on my face.  Apparently it will come off in 5-7 days.  Can’t wait for that.
  • I drank an iced coffee and cried in my car. (Hi again, caffeine.)
  • We made it back from urgent care in time to pick up Grace (and I exhaled for the first time in over an hour).
  • No luck on the shower.  But Jesus cranked up the humidity, so… poodle hair.
  • Speaking of poodles, all five of us (Grace, Nicky, Clark, his cone and myself) went to the vet.
  • The vet took one look at our motley crew and called for back-up (this literally happened), as if having an additional vet tech in the room would prevent my children from attacking or eating dog treats or… something.
  • Clark’s most recent bad luck (a scratched cornea) isn’t healing and will likely require surgery.
  • I called Nick (for, I think, the 5th time of the day).
  • I cried in my car again but this time I pretended to be fake sneezing (my kids love fake sneezing and I’ve never been above a cheap laugh).
  • We bought matching sweatshirts for the family (it seemed like the right thing to do).
  • I found the aforementioned banana.
  • We survived.

Once both babes (and Clark) were safely tucked in bed and the house was quiet, I sat at the kitchen table for two entire hours.  Just breathing.  I barely noticed how dark it was until I sort of came to, wondering if I should be searching for additional bananas.  If I’m being honest (which I endeavor to do, obvi), this is not the first banana/laundry incident we’ve had… this week.

 

Days like yesterday are memorable because they almost never happen (thankfully) and because they serve up gentle reminders of all sorts.  

A reminder that we have so much (excellent healthcare, reliable transportation, a generous and kind support network, clean clothes, plenty of bananas, a Frenchie who promised to live forever, and the resources to manage all of this).  A reminder that I need to take care of myself in order to best take care of others (no more staying up ’til 2 AM reading about shipwrecks #reallife).  A reminder that there is power in laughter and tears and tears disguised as sneezes.  A reminder that children are resilient and brave, even if their behavior is also terribly risky and awfully terrifying.  A reminder that quiet time is rarely wasted time.  A reminder that even (or especially) as a mother, it is important to be vulnerable and receptive to help.

I hope your yesterday treated you well.  And that your today did too.

Also On Tap for Today:

What gentle reminders are you serving up (or being served)? And who wants to watch You Got Served with me?

 

The next Serial | Imaginary podcasts

I love a good podcast.  And I love pretending I have the technical know-how, requisite storytelling ability and captive audience to manage a successful podcast of my own.  But um, I have none of the above.

the next serial podcast ideas

I do have some ideas, though.  A whole notebook full of ’em.  And they’re free for the taking.  Just please make sure, if you do go ahead and develop any of these ideas into the next Serial… let me know.  So I can subscribe.  Oh, and maybe let me do the MailChimp ad that will surely kick off each episode.  Cool.  Thank you.

THE NEXT SERIAL | IMAGINARY PODCASTS

Idea 1: Mystery Store

You might have one (or more) of these stores in your town, you might not… but you probably do.  The signage is sort of murky.  Maybe the store is called Jim’s or ABC America or Real Deal$  (for the record, I made these up, so if your store is actually called any of these things… sorry.  I’m especially sorry if you used a dollar sign instead of an ‘s’ to spell the word deals.  Really $orry.).  

Or perhaps there’s no sign at all.

Maybe the store presents itself as one thing, but you kind of get the sense it’s another thing entirely.  Like, you swear you’ve seen people walk in for a haircut and walk out with an electric keyboard.  Or you notice a bunch of not-so-gently-used baby strollers out front, but the advertisements hanging in the window feature a “catch of the day” special.  

Okay, so I’ve set the scene.  The way this podcast works is simple, if not a tiny bit dangerous.  You identify a store that fits the criteria outlined above.  You enter the store, poke around a little (while describing the things you’re poking so your audience feels like they’re in the trenches with you, obviously), maybe act interested in something specific.  When you’re finally approached by a salesperson, you engage them in some friendly banter and then BAM!  You hit them with the million dollar question(or maybe $7.99 question, all depends on the store, right?): 

OK.  But what do you realllly sell here?

It’s anyone’s guess where the episode (and frankly, your life and safety) goes from here.  Exciting, right?

Idea 2: Conversations from the floor

This one is inspired by the 2 year-old in my life.  She seems to be spending an increasing amount of time on the floor.  Sometimes she’s kicking.  Sometimes she’s crying.  Sometimes she’s looking for an errant cheddar bunny under the sofa.  

Toddlers are really, really funny.  This doesn’t always translate in the moment (tantrums can be really upsetting for everyone involved, and I don’t mean to make light of what seems to be an important phase of child development… except to say that we sort of all need a sense of humor to survive).  But they’re funny, nevertheless.  

Just this morning, I had the following conversation with Grace:

  • Grace: Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  Mama.  Mommy.  Mom.  MOM!
  • Me: Yes, honey?
  • Grace: Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  MOOOOOMMMMM.
  • Me: Do you need something, or are you just saying my name?
  • Grace: I’m saying your name.
  • Me: OK.
  • Grace: And I need something.  I need a reflection light.
  • Me: Can you tell me what a reflection light is?
  • Grace: I need it.  
  • Me: I don’t know what it is.  What do you use it for?
  • Grace: I need it to look at trees at nighttime.
  • Me: Can you tell me what it is again?
  • Grace: I said it.  It’s a reflection light.
  • Me: A flash light? (lucky guess)
  • Grace: Yes.  I told you.  Please, you’ll get me one at the store today.

Actually, maybe this podcast is more of a quiz show.  You guess what the H a toddler is talking about.  And if you’re correct, the toddler’s parents give you a handful of slightly moist Cheerios that they found between the seat cushions in their car.  

Idea 3: The Pregnant Shopping Cart Impulse Shopping  Why Am I Buying This? Title TBD

I’ll happily hand this one off to any currently pregnant moms.  Or maybe we can cast a wider net and call it Impulse Shopping.  Whoever grabs this tasty snack cake of an idea can sort of the details.

I came up with this one while nine months pregnant, carefully placing my organic produce on the belt at the grocery store check-out when… What’s this?  Six bags of sour gummy bears?

I’d be lying if I said things like this only happened when I was pregnant, but I believe my impulse shopping was especially cool, weird and interesting when I was expecting.  

And if you choose to stick with the pregnant lady angle, maybe this podcast could have a sort of public service element whereby you educate the masses on what you should/should not say or do to pregnant women.  Like in episode one, you could (genuinely) complement a mother-to-be for looking so radiant.  You ask her how she’s feeling.  You respond kindly and enthusiastically and non-judgmentally to any details she shares.  

You don’t say things like “Whoaaaaa!  You’re about ready to POP!”  Or assert that you’re positive there is a “secret twin in there.” (And yes, these are things strangers said to me when I was pregnant.)  And maybe you make a point of announcing into your micro-cassette recorder (Or does it all happen on your iPhone? I don’t know.  That’s why you’re making the podcast, not me.) that you are not touching anyone’s belly.  You’re just not.

Or…. maybe you just stick to interesting impulse purchases.  Or maybe you empower a toddler to make impulse purchases in a mystery store.  Yep.  That’s going straight to the top of the charts.

Also On Tap for Today:

  • Not buying a reflection light
  • Catching up on Oh My Gouache! videos
  • Homemade snacks for summer road trips from Whole Foods Market

What’s your favorite podcast?