[tweetmeme source=”elizabethev” only_single=false]I was in a hideous mood earlier this week (I’d blame lack of sleep over the weekend, but after dressing up like a flying squirrel on Saturday night, I slept until 10 the next morning.).  Clark was feeling salty too, mostly because he hates the rain.  And because I imagine his moods for him.  I figured I’d wallow in my grouchiness, and then get over it.  Wallowing, for me, always involves list making.

This is what I came up with.

11 Reasons Why I Hate Fall:

1. Fall colors are ugly.  Brown?  Orange?  That’s like a rotting pumpkin.  Which brings me to…
2. I don’t like the taste of pumpkin.
3. Why are people freaking out about pumpkin flavored coffee?  And pumpkin beer?  And pumpkins?
4. I am allergic to wool.
5. Boston is full of college students.  I feel old.  And nostalgic.  And old.
6. All those leaves on the ground?  They’re slippery.  I will probably fall.
7. I am allergic to something in addition to the aforementioned wool.  I don’t know what it is, but it just sprouted or hatched or grew or whatever.  I am itchy.
8. I dislike squash.  And zucchini.  I wish berries and tomatoes were perpetually in season.
9. I’d rather wear skirts than pants.
10. Things always expire in the fall.  My parking pass expired on August 31st and my new one was denied because the person at the parking desk thought I was a student pretending to be a grown-up.  Then it was approved.  Seven days later.  I was annoyed.  Also, I accidentally ate expired Greek yogurt on Tuesday.  Use your imagination.  It wasn’t good.
11. It’s sort of cold, but sort of hot, and sort of dry, but also humid.  My body (specifically, my hair) is confused.

I could have probably continued on to number 12, or number 40, but this whole exercise was not especially helpful.  In fact, I felt even more hideous than when I started.  I decided to make a second list, wherein I would call fall autumn, because it sounds more lovely.  And not unlike a middle school classmate from the late eighties or early nineties.

9 Reasons to Not Hate Autumn

1. I am getting married in November (that’s a big one, obviously).  When we booked our date, people were like, Ooooh, fall colors!  Beautiful!  I got a lot of practice burning these same people with my eyes of death.  (See number 1 above.)  In all seriousness, though, I just cannot wait.
2. After the wedding, we get to go on our honeymoon, which is a great way to bring sexy summer back.  Yeah.
3. Soccer starts after a two week hiatus (um… our team didn’t make the playoffs last season…).
4. Glutino makes a gluten free stuffing.  Which means I can freely overeat on Thanksgiving.
5. Fall races are less sweaty than summer races.
6. Apple picking (not a sentence, but I am going to punctuate it regardless).
7. Nick turns 30 this fall, which makes us the same age again, meaning I don’t have to feel creepy for a whole five months.  My mother and sister also have fall birthdays.  They’re so cute.
8. I have jury duty (and inevitably, I will be impaneled, knowing both my luck and inability to make up believable lies)… that’s always interesting.  I was on a jury for a medical malpractice case a few years ago and almost fainted.
9. Leggings are socially acceptable in certain situations again.

I’m still recovering from the yogurt thing, but my mood has improved.  Daydreaming about a honeymoon (and jury duty?) will do that.  As for Clark?  He still hung up on his singular reason for hating fall: this jacket.

Please don’t call Sarah McLachlan on me.

Also On Tap for Today:

• Voting in the MA state primary
• Coveting these fruit and vegetable drawers
• I’m giving away 2 half marathon entries for 9/16

What do you love most about fall autumn?