Personally, I’m not crazy about wearing socks. Even in the winter, I’d prefer to go sockless in my ballet flats and heels. My sock wearing is limited almost exclusively to working out, or keeping warm in the condo (in which case, I’m most likely wearing Christmas socks, or pink Life is Good socks, covered in peace signs). Usually, it’s very obvious which socks belong to one another. Pom poms and “right” and “left” markers are useful for this purpose.
Or sometimes, my socks are permanently attached. You might call these pantyhose. Pantyhose or nylons are the unitards of the sock world: Impossible to take apart and equally awful. Tights are only half as bad. But still.
Fun fact: Spell check just tried to turn unitards into Unitarians. Lovely people, but not quite what I was going for.
On the other hand foot, men’s socks are nearly impossible to match and seem to separate at a far faster rate than mine. They all look alike, until you get really, really close. Oh, those are Swiss dots. How nice. When putting away the laundry last night, I found myself asking such questions as:
- Why is this black sock slightly longer than this other one of the same texture and color?
- What does that gold line on the toe mean?
- Is this light black or really, really dark brown?
- Is there even such a color as light black? If so, is it called gray?
- You have a purple argyle sock?
- Any chance you have a second one?
The world of men’s socks, I’m finding, is subtle and nuanced. And annoying. So annoying that I spend a good part (or 5 minutes) of the evening reading this wikiHow article entitled How to Avoid Losing Socks in the Washing Machine. Good Heavens! Centrifugal force has been stealing Nick’s socks! Here are a few tips from the article:
- Keep ‘em together. Before putting socks in the washing machine, attach pairs together. You can use a lingerie bag, safety pins or even office clamps, you can simply fold the tops together, or the best solution is to use the sock clip.
- Know where to look. Many socks that go missing are stuck to the inside of the washer. The moisture and centrifugal force holds them there for several minutes. Be sure to check all around the inside of the drum. Other socks will get stuck to sheets and towels in the dryer. So when you fold these items for storage, shake them out and check for any socks which may be clinging.
- Keep orphaned socks in one place. When you fold laundry, insert any unmatchable socks into one particular drawer in your dresser, or a box on your closet shelf. Once a month, you may have quite a collection. Dump them out and make all the matches. Use socks with no partner for other purposes.
Also On Tap for Today:
- Stop reading and writing about socks
- Celebrate animals, celebrating the holidays
- Consider becoming a celebrity hunter, like this guy
How do you keep your socks from breaking up? And have you ever had your photo taken with a celebrity (I want proof)?