Today: Life with Clark

dog walkHere it is.  The post you’ve all been you might have been waiting for.  What I’ve learned this past week from life with our little monster:

  • Looking cute while picking up what your dog… put down… is not easy.
  • Sometimes, when you’re trying to sleep, you new puppy might make noises that sound like a pterodactyl or a fisher cat.  If you’ve never heard of a fisher cat, read on.  I will terrify you in mere moments.
  • You will meet more people in three days with a dog, than you might otherwise in three months.  Most of these people will be nice and normal.  Others will linger just a bit too long, but there’s no casual way to say, “Stop petting my dog, ya freak.”
  • If dog food tastes anything like it smells, it’s gross.  Dog food makers can dehydrate anything.  In fact, I think they might be in cahoots with the people who make astronaut ice cream.
  • You’ll find treats in pockets you didn’t even know you had.
  • French bulldogs like to jump on other French bulldogs, which is fun for them, but traumatic for a new owner who worries her dog might break another person’s dog.  Also, they don’t speak French.  Yet.
  • Dogs do not know the difference between 6AM on a Tuesday and 6AM on a Sunday.
  • It’s really easy to fall asleep on the sofa if there’s a snoring puppy smushed on top of you.

And now, pictures.

Clark 1

Check out the Frenchie ears.

Clark 3

Get this monkey off my back.

Clark 4

Pretending I know how to hold a dog.

If all this cuteness overload is too much for you, allow me to introduce New England’s most malevolent mammal… the terrifying Fisher Cat. Raaaaaaaaawr!

fishercat

I will bite you. And your little moose, too. (Photo via www.troop399nbny.org)

According to the world’s most credible source (Wikipedia, obvi), the Fisher Cat has “unsheathed, retractable claws.”  With its Edward Scissorhands and their raging teeth, the fisher cat is one of very few predators who actually seek out porcupines for prey.

They don’t really discriminate, mowing down birds, small mammals… and even large mammals, such as the moose.  The noise they make is so distinctive and terrifying, someone in New Hampshire dedicated an entire website to it.  Click on the audio, if you dare! Muhahaha.  To make matters (even) worse, they have been hit with the ugly stick.  Hard.

On that note, have a lovely day!

Also On Tap for Today:

  • Write myself a note to change the clocks for DST on Saturday night.  I love “falling back.”
  • Perhaps our team will make out triumphant return to trivia tonight?
  • Share an inspiring story about a kindergartner who’s pulling for his sick friend.  You must read/watch. (Thanks, Christina!)

How cute is our Frog Dog?  How many nightmares will you have this week about the fisher cat? And please tell me you’ve watched the Sweetie Petey newsclip.

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